Updated: Jun 22
Curated by Nicholas Townsend Smith
"Rejection is just a concept. It's not a reality." - someone once said, as I grappled with the fear of selling my own product, the 12 Journeys Coaching program, and asking people to hire me to speak for their events. The truth in those words was like a ray of sunshine through the heavy clouds of my apprehension. However, acknowledging this truth and living by it are two different things. So, let's get real about this journey and how I learned (and am learning) to face my fear, conquer it, and embrace my inner giant.
The Fear of Selling: Why We Shy Away from Promoting Our Own Products
We've all heard the saying "It's easier to sell someone else's product than our own." But why is this so?
To find the answer, we need to delve into the psyche and understand the aversion, avoidance, and resistance that come into play when we're selling our own product or service.
The act of selling is, at its core, a vulnerable act.
It's putting a part of ourselves out there for critique and judgment. More so, when we have poured our heart and soul into creating the product. As humans, we instinctively avoid potential pain, and the fear of rejection is a potent trigger for this avoidance behavior. It's not about lacking the skills; I've spent over $120,000 investing in my skillsets, but all these skills didn't matter until I addressed the fear of rejection.
The Journey of Conquering the Fear: A Personal Insight
My journey with the book, 12 Journeys coaching program, the Tribe, and the Podcast was a labor of love. I spent years creating a powerful program that created lasting transformation.
But when it was time to ask people to pay, I shut down.
Why? Because I had become co-dependent on my clients. I was giving, giving, giving, but when it came time to receive, I hit a wall.
Co-dependent, you ask? Yes! Here were the signs:
Over-Responsibility: This is when you feel excessively responsible for your clients' success or failure. While it's natural to want your clients to succeed, feeling overly responsible for their outcomes can create undue stress and anxiety.
Need for Approval: If you find yourself needing constant validation from your clients to feel competent or successful, this could be a sign of codependency. While feedback is important, your self-worth shouldn't be entirely tied to your clients' approval.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries: If you find it hard to say "no" to clients, work outside of designated hours, or feel guilty when you're not available to your clients, you might be struggling with setting healthy boundaries. This is a common characteristic of codependency.
Dependency for Business Survival: If your business is heavily reliant on a few key clients, you might be in a codependent business relationship. This can be risky as losing these clients could potentially lead to significant business hardship.
Emotional Involvement: While empathy is a crucial part of many service-based professions, becoming too emotionally involved or invested in your clients' personal lives or problems can be a sign of codependency.
The wall I was hitting was my fear of rejection and the pain associated with it. I had to come to terms with the fact that not everyone would value my program or be willing to pay for it. And that was okay.
It didn't reflect my worth or the value of what I had created.
Transcending Limiting Beliefs and Value Systems
The first step in overcoming this fear is acknowledging it. From there, I work on transcending my limiting beliefs and value systems.
Here are some tips that help me and they might help you:
Affirm Your Worth: Remind yourself of the value you bring. You've invested time, energy, and resources into creating your product or service, and it deserves to be valued.
Embrace Rejection: Rejection is not a reflection of your worth but a natural part of life. Each "no" brings you closer to a "yes."
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. You're stepping out of your comfort zone, and it's okay to stumble.
Find Your Tribe: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Their positive energy will help you navigate the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. The Tribe of Giants is great for this, and I also look for my Tribe in other places I would like to grow.
Believe in Your Product: You've created something unique, something that can help others. Believe in it and others will too.
Embrace Your Inner Giant
Fear, aversion, and avoidance are parts of us that feel small. Transcending these feelings is about growing our inner giant. It's about updating those parts of us that hold us back and stepping into our full potential.
In this journey, remember to express gratitude for the challenges and triumphs that shape your unique story. This isn't about playing small in the journey, it's about becoming the giant.
Transform Fear Into Fuel
In a fascinating exploration into the anxiety that surrounds selling, researchers discovered that often, our trepidation is rooted in uncertainty.
The mere thought of selling a product or service you've lovingly crafted can spark fears of rejection, failure, or overselling. But here's the kicker - as the captain of your own entrepreneurial ship, it's your duty to navigate these choppy waters and hoist the sails of prosperity.
Now, let's flip the script on rejection. The savviest salespeople don't view rejection as a setback, but rather as a goldmine of insight. Each "no" you encounter shines a spotlight on potential areas of improvement that, if left unchecked, would likely lead to more rejection. It's not always about you or your product. Sometimes, it's about timing, price, or a simple misunderstanding.
These moments aren't losses - they're stepping stones to your next big "yes".
Champion your product. The deeper your belief in the fruits of your labor, the stronger your resolve to sell them, and the more likely you are to inspire that same confidence in your customers. Concentrate on mastering the controllable - your product - and the rest will naturally fall into place.
Never forget, sales is essentially about lending a helping hand. If you're selling something you truly believe in, you're not just closing a deal - you're offering a solution. Shift your focus from the product to the people, and you'll not only start to relish the sales journey but also cultivate valuable skills along the way.
And remember, practice isn't just about perfection - it's about discovery. Engage in casual conversations about your business, and observe what sparks people's interest. Carry that informal vibe into your pitches and use each one as a learning curve. Selling, like any other skill, requires time and persistence to master. But hey, you had the tenacity to launch a business, so you've definitely got what it takes to sell it!
In conclusion, grappling with the fear of selling your own product or service can feel like facing a giant. But here's the twist - it's not about defeating the giant, it's about evolving into one. Embrace the odyssey, nurture your inner giant, and step into your limitless potential.
If you are struggling to break free from your fears and aversions, check out our 12 Journeys coaching program at 12journeyscoaching.com
or schedule a quick break-free conversation with me here https://calendly.com/mandelbrotllc/discovery-call-with-nick-smith
Make it a Giant Day!
This article was created in collaboration with AI.